


i still see you in my dreams

by lady_fosboss



Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: Book 8.5: Unlocked, F/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:53:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27674300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_fosboss/pseuds/lady_fosboss
Summary: She still remembered the last night she'd tried. The grief and pain that had nearly drowned her as Keefe's mind slipped further and further out of her grasp. The coldness in her very core as she shut her mind and lay shivering beneath her thick covers. The silent sobs as she realised - true to his letter - she really wouldn't hear his voice ever again.
Relationships: Sophie Foster/Keefe Sencen
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	i still see you in my dreams

"Sophie, are you awake?"

Sophie was awake, though she longed for sleep's pull. She hadn't had sleep in a long time, which was good for during the day when she had to work on Councillor Kenric's cache and befriend Glimmer and - most importantly - search for traces of Keefe, plus all the other Team Valiant, work business and stuff. But it absolutely sucked at night, when his last words rang in her ears and his messy handwriting imprinted on her retinas.

At least in her dreams they were together and they were happy. 

"Yeah," she said softly, gesturing Biana over. The latter hadn't taken the news of Keefe's disappear well either: when Sophie had arrived that morning, she'd been wearing a tatty, baggy tunic and her eyes were red and puffy. Her appearance hadn't hanged since then. In fact, she looked more grief-stricken as she tiptoed across the room to Sophie's side and laid down next to her.

The were silent, staring at the ceiling blankly. The darkness would've made it an ideal time for the monster still fighting Sophie's brain to come out of hiding, but even it was tired. 

"Were you trying to transmit to him?" Biana asked. "Is that why you're still awake?"

"I tried the first few times," Sophie replied. "But his mind feels . . . distant. Like I can feel it, but it's so far that I can't reach. And . . . after about the fourth night, I stopped trying."

She still remembered the last night she'd tried. The grief and pain that had nearly drowned her as Keefe's mind slipped further and further out of her grasp. The coldness in her very core as she shut her mind and lay shivering beneath her thick covers. The silent sobs as she realised - true to his letter - she really wouldn't hear his voice ever again.

Now, at the tenth night, she still wasn't ready to try again.

"He left me a letter," Sophie whispered. Biana tensed next to her. "Not now. The day before I realised he was gone. He'd changed Iggy's fur and everything. And he said . . . "

She cut off, a lump formed in her throat. Biana squeezed her hand, and Sophie realised hers was shaking too.

"I just thought he'd trust us more," she whispered, her voice cracking on the word trust. "Whatever horrible abilities he had, I would've stuck by him from the start to the end."

"You can't really blame him," Biana sad softly. "I mean . . . think about it. He's grown up believing that he's a burden on all his friends and family, and that he's just here to cause inconvenience. Everytime his mom does something dumb and dangerous, it makes him feel like a liability. Like he's leading us into disaster or something. And now with these new abilities that he can't control and the knowledge that she can very well take him and use him for bad stuff . . . He's so used to running towards danger, but now he's forced to run away from it. And his one defense mechanism is gone." Biana wiped her eyes. "I'm not saying what he did was right. But it's going to take lots of convincing to make him see that he's worth the pain of figuring this out."

Sophie choked back a sob. "I wish I could hug him and tell him that I'd never see him like that. But it's too late now."

She inhaled a deep breath, and let it out shakily. Her insides twisted together as the part of her she'd been oblivious to for so long screamed angrily, berating Sophie's present mind for being too dumb to see and feel the signs.

Biana gave her a side glance. "Do you . . . is this about Foster-Keefe?"

"Yes," Sophie couldn't help laughing at the familiar nickname. "I'm so dumb, aren't I?"

"Very," Biana giggled. They glanced at each other, and burst into laughter almost as easily as they'd been about to cry.

It felt good to laugh. Even if Sophie knew it wouldn't be permanent. Maybe one day in the near future it'd be free laughter. One day when Keefe's face didn't pop into her mind and make her all choked up again.

"It will be okay one day," Biana said, as if she'd read Sophie's mind. Her teal eyes glinted, crinkled at the corners with a small smile. "Either Keefe will come back, or we'll go get him. And if it doesn't happen like that, we are basically immortal. Maybe in a few hundred years we'll recover."

They cracked up again at that. 

And hey, look! Here she was laughing for the first time in ten days. Maybe that was proof that things would get better. Even if that meant learning to Live Without Keefe.

. . . It would take time, but she would feel better eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> follow my tumblr @lady-fossbos!!!


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